you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
