why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
