I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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