Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
