man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
