dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
