If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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