week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
