I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize