I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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