i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
