I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
