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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ew, did you brush them again?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure

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• (253): View more from Washington

  she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.

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• (681): View more from West Virginia

  I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion

  (743): View more from

  It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?

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• (619): View more from California

  I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  That was before I lit my hair on fire

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