my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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