What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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