I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
