why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
