hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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