It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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