Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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