i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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