So drunk its hurt
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
