My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
