No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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