The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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