I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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