Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
