boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Drunk is not a location!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
