Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just google imaged poop.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
