so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
