just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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