hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
