i don't like sucking hair
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
