I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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