Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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