Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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