sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
