How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my being single is dangerous.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
