I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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