That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
