Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
