Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
