I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize