are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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