Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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