If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I see more hoeing in ur future
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