the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
