She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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