We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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