If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
