I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
