I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
