Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
