my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
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