There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
