see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i think i just lost a toe
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
