Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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