its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wannas sexs uuuuu
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Randomize
