piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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