Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
