And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
