I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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